Roots

The other day I noticed this giant fig tree in my complex- not for the first time, but a new thought emerged.

“Would this tree really miss one clipping? …I should steal one.”

I preceded to not do that, as I am self-aware of my inability to treat houseplants. That is a skill for future Nikki to acquire. However, I did send a picture of the tree to my family and asked what they would do.

“Is it really stealing if its in your complex?” my mom asks.

While this may be a good talking point for somebody interested in anarchist calisthenics, I still had no interest in actually taking a clipping. Instead, I thought on neglect. I thought about what it can do to a living thing to be stripped from its vital resources. I thought about the long term effects of attachment trauma. I thought about generational trauma. I wondered about how much of our evolution, as humans and a society, has been a result of a collective trauma response. Then, I made dumplings.

This is not a recipe blog.. I promise. I just wanted to be honest.

For awhile, I have been fascinated with epigenetics. To do my best to sum it up in a way that sparks your interest, Stressful childhood and fetal experiences can be a cause of significant change in your brain’s architecture and, consequently, your well being. Not only this, but your parents’ exposure to trauma before you were ever conceived- can influence these things, as well.

Enter: generational trauma.

But… are we really suggesting that our problems are our parents fault? And how does that help us deal with anything now? Well, let’s talk about how we define “trauma response.” In the book, “Unbroken: The Trauma Response Is Never Wrong” Dr. MaryCatherine Mcdonald, emphasizes the need to define the trauma response as the neurobiological adaptation to a theat. In doing this, we are choosing to reframe the trauma response to something positive, rather than treating it as a malfunction within ourselves.

Prolonged trauma responses can manifest for generations. Here’s a metaphor to explain how it might work:

A couple makes dinner one night. The loving and curious partner turns to the other one and asks, “why do you cut the end of the ham like that before cooking it?” to which the other replies, “I don’t know, that’s how I was taught to cook it. My mom taught me and my grandmother taught her.

Fast-forward to a visit with said grandmother. When asked why she cuts the ends of her ham like so, she simple replies, “We did not have a pan big enough to hold the whole ham.”

We only do what we know.

You don’t necessarily suffer because of your parents., but your parents taught you how to survive- and their methods of survival may no longer be serving you. If we view epigenetics like this, we might then view therapy as a modern solution to an evolutionary phenomenon. Not every adult needs therapy, but every adult can benefit from therapy. As we uncover insight into ourselves, our history, and our ancestry, we can gain a clearer consciousness of what is in our best interest moving forward.

For me, this looks like not trying to prorogate a fig, as my ancestors were farmers- not botanists. For you, well, perhaps you have an invitation to explore what trauma responses have protected you and your family, and let go of what no longer serves you.

“It is no measure of health to be adjusted to a profoundly sick society.” -Jiddu Krishnamurti

References

Carmen J. Marsit, Hans H. Hoppeler; Influence of environmental exposure on human epigenetic regulation. J Exp Biol 1 January 2015; 218 (1): 71–79

Gabory, A., Attig, L., & Junien, C. (2009). Sexual dimorphism in environmental epigenetic programming. Molecular and cellular endocrinology, 304(1-2), 8-18.

McDonald, M. (2023). Unbroken: The Trauma Response Is Never Wrong: And Other Things You Need to Know to Take Back Your Life. Sounds True.